There’s so much I don’t see when I’m driving, even running and walking past looks different than actual sitting by the water.
Today I watched ice on the lake glisten and melt. I always wonder how people know when it’s thick enough to support their weight and who walked on it last before it got too thin. It was probably the outdoor equivalent of watching paint dry, only better, meditative.
It is interesting to realize my gaps between the saying and doing of self-care . Like, allowing myself to rest and nap and not be busy is great in theory, but the daily practice of it points out countless ‘opportunities’ for me to let go and knock it off already.
This morning I did a few gentle stretches before walking – two or three – and told myself “Maybe I could do a restorative yoga class Tomorrow. I’m feeling good, plus I need restoration” I said. Then I told myself to sit down.
Sitting down comes with risks too. Because sitting down with nowhere to be and nothing to ‘do’ means you’re even more available to random thoughts, and let me tell you…
When I talk about mindfulness, meditation, presence and nature, this is what it is sometimes: a cocktail of stillness and awareness right alongside the itch to bitch and blame, run, react and claw the sh!t out of whatever cage I think I’m in.
It’s all the feels, being able to feel at all is a good thing.